Hollywood star Rumer Willis has revealed that she used sex to find ‘value’ in herself after being ‘shamed’ over her looks as a teenager.
Speaking on Red Table Talk with Jada Pinkett Smith, Rumer revealed: “I would get myself into a situation and at some point I had learned that if someone wants, values me sexually, or I feel like they desire me, then they are entitled to me.
“When I was like 14, because I was so shamed like when all those blogs came out about how I looked, how my face looked, then my idea was that, ‘Oh, well then, if I’m desired sexually, then I have value’.”
In response to Rumer, Jada revealed that she could relate to her relationship with sex.
“I went through that stage too, because I was always so petite,” said Jada. “I wasn’t always ‘the girl’…You know, I did get caught up in that a little bit.”
Rumer went on to speak about the uncomfortable time when she lost her virginity at the age of 18.
“When I lost my virginity, when I was 18, I was more concerned with the shame that I was feeling at not having done it,” described Rumer.
“I was not abused, or it wasn’t rape, but I didn’t say ‘yes.’
“I wasn’t gung-ho about it, but I also didn’t say ‘no.’ I just let it happen.
“He was older and took advantage and didn’t check in. That’s where I feel like the man’s responsibility is.
“No means no, but what if you can’t say no?”
The House Bunny star also offered a more recent story about a man she was seeing.
“I completely froze. I even have so much shame about bringing that up.
I’m such this empowered, strong person but even I couldn’t do it, could not say no. I could not say ‘I’m uncomfortable’.”
Rumer then said that men need to take responsibility to ensure that women feel more comfortable.
“This is where I think it’s on the male side of responsibility,’ concluded Rumer. “There was no awareness from him of my discomfort.
“Even if I couldn’t say anything, I was obviously uncomfortable and trying to shut it down.”
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